Most folks deal with white elephant reward exchanges as an excuse to regift unopened presents and offload undesirable junk, however they’re much more enjoyable should you put within the additional effort to trigger hassle. Trust us — Digital Trends’ HR division truly pressured us to discontinue our annual white elephant trade as a result of it bought too wild just a few years in the past. So, that can assist you make a splash at your vacation social gathering this 12 months, we’ve put collectively this fast checklist of the perfect white elephant reward concepts the world has ever seen. Enjoy!
Sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears
If you haven’t already learn the Amazon opinions for these gummy bears, drop what you’re doing and go verify them out instantly. Did you do it? Well if not, right here’s the synopsis: These bears are made with a kind of synthetic sugar that’s been recognized to present sure folks explosive diarrhea. We’re not saying it’s assured to make your folks and/or coworkers crap their pants, however there’s an opportunity it’ll occur. Also, don’t overlook to put on brown pants to the social gathering, simply in case you get caught with your personal reward.
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This one is a sluggish burn. At first folks will chuckle and get all nostalgic concerning the singing bass that captured America’s coronary heart within the winter of ’99. Then, whoever finally ends up with the bass will excitedly press the button, cycle by way of Billy’s songs a pair occasions, after which inevitably place him on his/her desk. Then, for the subsequent few weeks, everybody within the workplace must hear “Take Me To The River” and “Dont Worry Be Happy” not less than 12 occasions per day — which can most probably trigger anyone to snap and go full-on “Office Space printer scene” on Billy, thereby prompting a hilarious battle decision assembly with HR.
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These issues are sensible. They’re basically customizable masks comprised of an elastic material and designed to slide over your head. You can put anyone’s face on them, after which put on that face over your personal face. It’s freakishly hilarious, and assured to make all of your coworkers pee their pants in laughter — particularly should you can handle to make certainly one of your boss’s face.
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I don’t know what it’s about disposable movie cameras that brings out the debauchery in folks, however for some motive they’re a surefire option to get everybody on the social gathering on their worst habits. There’s simply one thing about having a restricted set of pictures you may take (in addition to an incapability to evaluation or delete what you’ve snapped) that appears to encourage folks to do outrageous and misguided issues for the digicam. No matter who finally ends up with this reward, there’s an virtually 100% probability that every one 27 pictures will probably be used up on each cameras by the tip of the night time, and that the ensuing photographs will probably be epically dangerous in all the perfect methods.
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For these of you who aren’t hip with the newest traits in ridiculously spicy meals, the Carolina Reaper is at present the world’s hottest pepper. On common, these nasty little bastards register a whopping 1.64 million on the Scoville warmth scale — that means they’re about 656 occasions hotter than the common jalapeño. This jerky is infused with them, and I assure that as quickly because it will get unwrapped, your workplace’s resident macho man will arise and supply to be the guinea pig. Thing is, what Bronson McBruiserfist doesn’t understand is that in contrast to different spicy meals gadgets, you may’t actually wolf down jerky and swallow it with out chewing. You should let it sit in your mouth for some time to melt up, so these items is just about assured to wreck whoever eats it.
Pro tip: For additional enjoyable, superglue the lid onto a half gallon of milk and embrace it in your reward package deal.
Questionably authorized fireworks
The wonderful thing about residing in America is that every little thing is on the market on a regular basis — together with fireworks. Even in case your state’s legal guidelines prohibit on-line ordering and out-of-state imports, you may often get your palms on some Roman candles over state traces — and with the correct amount of rum-spiked eggnog, your fellow partygoers will hopefully begin to suppose it’s a good suggestion to mild just a few of them off within the car parking zone.
The Holiday Fun Pack
Ingredients: One 40-ounce bottle of Olde English, one pack of Marlboro cigarettes, some Magnum condoms, a fistful of bottle rockets, one pack of powdered donuts, a miniature American flag, and a roll of duct tape.
Instructions: Duct tape all elements collectively as haphazardly as you presumably can, and wrap it in a tattered paper sack. Despite the crappy presentation, this reward is at all times a crowd-pleaser. People will battle over it, and it’ll enable you to determine the enjoyable folks in your workplace.
Shake Weight
Despite the truth that it’s just a few years outdated, the Shake Weight continues to be among the best gag items cash should purchase. Why? Because it makes anybody who makes use of it appear like they’re coaching for the 2022 Wank Olympics. You’ll wish to have your cellphone able to report the take a look at run that can inevitably happen after Doug from Accounting has an excessive amount of peppermint schnapps.
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You know VistaPrint? The firm that sells low cost, customizable enterprise playing cards? As it seems, in addition they promote tremendous low cost, completely customizable calendars as nicely. That means you may make one with nothing however all these drunk selfies you took together with your cat final weekend, after which power anyone to maintain it on their desk for a 12 months.
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Shock Potato is mainly a contemporary reimagining of the traditional kids’s recreation Hot Potato. The solely distinction is that, as an alternative of utilizing an overheated root vegetable, you toss a small plastic ball that can randomly ship a strong electrical shock to 1 unfortunate particular person. Just make certain that good ol’ Pacemaker Jim doesn’t be part of the enjoyable. That might finish badly.
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I can just about assure that nothing will boost your stuffy vacation social gathering fairly like listening to your boss utter the phrase “testicular torsion,” then ask the HR supervisor what it means. Nothing brings folks collectively like a card recreation that encourages filthy and offensive humor.
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T-shirt together with your face on it
Thanks to miracles of recent expertise, you may have your large, ugly mug screen-printed onto a T-shirt and delivered to your door in lower than every week. The poor SOB who will get caught with it’ll both put on it like a champ, or give it to the closest thrift retailer — after which it’ll in all probability be bought by a hipster and worn paradoxically for years to come back. Either means, you win.
It doesn’t matter that it’s not anyone’s birthday — this card is an ideal option to begin a scene at your vacation social gathering. Once opened, the cardboard will play an annoying “Happy Birthday” tune at high quantity till you both destroy the speaker or the battery runs out — whichever comes first. It’ll run for about three hours earlier than the battery dies, and it’s designed to resist water injury, so your giftee can have no selection however to smash it or mild it on hearth.
Buy on Firebox
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