“Gotta say Elden Ring becomes so much less fun at the end.”
On May 24, 2021, my pal Andrew Thomas pinged me through Facebook chat with that message. While I had crammed a lot of the sport right into a single frantic week in February to overview it for launch, Andrew had been plugging away at it casually and sending me his observations alongside the way in which.
I revered Andrew’s opinion on video games. He was a online game creator himself who had developed two titles — a motion-controlled maze sport referred to as Roll Control and a trippy spin on Devil Daggers titled Shillelagh — so we steadily talked about sport design. He cherished constructively choosing aside video games and he particularly adored the Souls collection.
As we dissected the sport’s deadly flaws for an hour, I felt a egocentric sense of vindication. My crucial tackle Elden Ring left me feeling like an outsider as friends hailed it as a generational masterpiece. Had I simply turn into a grumpy cynic? Andrew’s shared critique reassured me that I had not, melting away months of quiet insecurity within the span of an hour.
That was one of many remaining conversations I had with him. One week later, on June 1, he was struck and killed by an SUV in Brooklyn. He would by no means end Elden Ring.
Andrew’s sudden dying put an unpleasant black stain on the top of an exquisite life full of limitless potential. As I struggled to grapple with my grief, that remaining dialog about Elden Ring loomed within the background. I wasn’t upset that he by no means acquired to complete the sport — in reality, it was maybe higher that he didn’t. But the extra I struggled for a way of closure, the extra I noticed that Elden Ring’s majesty and tragedy mirrored Andrew’s life, proper right down to the top. Both journeys intertwine just like the roots of the sport’s iconic, omnipresent Erdtree, and that realization gave me new methods to grasp each of them.
Limgrave
Elden Ring opens with quiet pressure. After an ill-fated boss battle in opposition to an ultrapowerful Grafted Scion, my Tarnished hero wakes up facedown in a humid cave. I traverse a dreary collection of corridors acquainted to Dark Souls followers, then step onto an elevator elevate, which begins rising by way of a pitch-black passageway. It’s like I’m passing by way of a start canal, totally uncertain of what life awaits me on the opposite facet.
At the highest, I’ve no possibility aside from to stroll up a set of stairs towards a steel door. With a robust heave, I elevate it from the underside and it opens up with a thunk. Once I cross the edge, my whole world adjustments.
The drab stone textures that felt like they had been closing in on me disappear behind me as I step right into a flood of inexperienced and gold so far as the attention can see. A title card flashes on-screen introducing me to my new residence: Limgrave.
This is the second of distinction that makes Elden Ring’s opening so breathtaking. A claustrophobic prelude turns a reasonably commonplace open-world introduction right into a revelation. I’ve exited the catacombs and now stand on the precipice of freedom, like a 16-year-old with a freshly minted license and a tank filled with fuel. It’s a paralyzing sight and gamers may really feel their thumb fall away from the management stick for a second because the painterly panorama washes over them. Hills roll so far as the attention can see, and an unlimited golden tree, the Erdtree, hangs above your head, leaving you to surprise how rather more of The Lands Between stretches behind it.
You don’t know what adventures await you on the opposite facet of that door, however in that second, the world feels limitless. Could there even be an finish to it?
Medfield
I had been buddies with Andrew for therefore lengthy that I couldn’t inform you after we first met. At some level, I’d begun telling individuals it was in fourth grade, which appeared far sufficient again that neither of us would fact-check one another on it. After his dying, I’d discover out that I had undersold the size of our friendship. His mom recalled a narrative of him coming residence from kindergarten and telling her about this cool child he met, Giovanni. (Hey, I mentioned I revered his judgment on video games, not individuals.)
We each grew up in a small Massachusetts city referred to as Medfield, a spot that’s most identified across the state for being “not Medford.” Its solely artistic declare to fame is that Walt Disney occurred to like our city, and peppered references to it in a few of his firm’s traditional movies. For occasion, it’s the place 1961’s The Absent-Minded Professor famously (effectively, well-known amongst Medfieldians, who’ve few city trivia info to work with) takes place.
The rock venture Aguasaurus was simply considered one of Andrew’s artistic endeavors in highschool.
As two eccentric children rising up in a vanilla city, Andrew and I turned quick buddies — one thing that was certain to occur within the 1990s when two children who cherished video video games crossed paths. In truth, my earliest reminiscence of gaming journalism got here from Andrew. In what I believe really was fourth grade, Andrew wrote a brief blurb for a category newspaper a couple of new online game that had simply come out: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I had by no means heard of Zelda, however his transient write-up wowed me. In just a few fast paragraphs, he painted an image of what felt like a grand, not possible achievement for video games. I wouldn’t see a lot as a screenshot of the sport for years after, however I didn’t must. I knew precisely what it seemed like.
Andrew and I largely bonded as a result of our artistic nature, although his mind operated at a tempo that I couldn’t comprehend. We each had a drive to make issues — something — it doesn’t matter what the medium was. Our artistic alliance started in grade faculty after we began filming skits with our dad and mom’ camcorders alongside a rising group of buddies. In Andrew’s most iconic string of labor, he puppeteered a classic Sealab 2020 motion determine that he referred to as Frank Zappa by way of a collection of goofy slapstick comedies. When I watched him work, I regarded him on the identical degree as a comedic genius like Jim Carrey.
Medfield was a clean canvas and I watched him fill it in round us with each device he might seize.
The bigger our world turned, the additional I noticed Andrew’s skills stretch. His movies turned extra refined, shifting to live-action efforts. In considered one of his expertly choreographed, music video-like battle scenes, I performed a person with badminton racquets for arms squaring off in opposition to a authorities murderer. At the top of highschool, his crowning achievement got here within the type of The Dreams, a surrealist anthology movie that seemed to seize the fluid and off-kilter nature of goals. In a sequence that has by no means left my thoughts, Andrew filmed considered one of our buddies on a flooded part of his avenue, creating an phantasm that he was strolling on water. A digital camera filter distorted the colours of the vegetation surrounding the road, giving them an unnatural hue that seemed each stunning and otherworldly — a panorama not dissimilar from those I’d see over a decade later in Limgrave.
A nonetheless from The Dream reveals a flooded avenue that Andrew used to surreal impact.
Andrew’s creativity had no limits. His childhood doodles turned works of high-quality artwork, his love of punk music led to the formation of our actually subversive rock venture referred to as Aguasaurus, and his fascination with shapes turned him into an excellent sculptor. The extra he engaged with the world round him, the extra he was pushed to experiment. Why constrain your self to at least one ability set when there’s a lot to play with on the planet? Medfield was a clean canvas and I watched him fill it in round us with each device he might seize.
Temple of Eiglay
Midway by way of my Elden Ring playthrough, I waltzed into the Temple of Eiglay, a church hidden deep inside the labyrinth-like Volcano Manor. I used to be totally unaware that it could characterize a turning level in the way in which I performed the sport. When I entered its cathedral-like expanse, I got here face-to-face with considered one of Elden Ring’s most abominable foes: the Godskin Noble. The grotesque monster is a humanoid determine draped in thick layers of flesh that hold round his hulking physique. Upon strolling into the church, he slowly makes his manner down the middle aisle, unintentionally knocking pews apart along with his free pores and skin. Like most fights on this collection, what ensues is a conflict.
Credit: Elden Ring Wiki
I spent hours battling the Godskin Noble, making little progress. Each dying turned extra irritating than the final, as I merely couldn’t nail down the timing wanted to keep away from his large arsenal of assaults. Were I not reviewing the sport, I could have merely stop it. After 30 hours of driving round The Lands Between and taking down highly effective foes, I couldn’t perceive why I wasn’t rising. Hadn’t I retained any abilities? I felt as helpless as I used to be after I first stepped into Limgrave, and The Lands Between appeared much less an area of infinite potential than a tiresome gauntlet of unending failure.
In a second of desperation, I checked out how I had constructed up my character. My stat distributions had been haphazard and I had outfitted no matter my highest protection armor was with out a second thought. Most damning, although, I used to be nonetheless utilizing the identical beginning lance my character had in hand when she awakened in that opening crypt. By this level, I had spent so many precious sources to improve it that letting it go felt like a waste of effort. Perhaps the problems I used to be experiencing weren’t with the sport. Maybe I used to be simply too scared to step out of my consolation zone and experiment, a lesson I wanted to study from Andrew.
My battle with the Godskin Noble felt totally new, like portray with a distinct brush.
I went into my stock and began scrolling by way of the weapons I’d picked up throughout my adventures and shortly forgot. A curved sword caught my eye, for no different causes than its excessive stats relative to what I had outfitted and its distinct form. I tossed it on and took out my frustrations on some close by grunts, utilizing its spinning slash assault to wipe them out with pizzazz. Yeah, that may do.
My playstyle immediately metamorphized. Rather than rigorously prodding enemies from afar with my weak lance, I used to be dancing circles round them with fast slashes. My battle with the Godskin Noble felt totally new, like portray with a distinct brush. After just a few makes an attempt, studying the nuances of my new abilities on the fly, I took down the hulking monster with ease.
I all of a sudden felt reinvigorated. The Lands Between hadn’t modified, however my perspective on it did. My mistake was seeing it as a static world to be conquered. Instead, it was each bit the artistic sandbox that Medfield was for me rising up. I simply wanted to see it by way of Andrew’s eye.
Bushwick
When most individuals head off to varsity, they naturally drift other than their highschool buddies. That was removed from the case with my Medfield gang. As destiny would have it, a number of of us all moved to New York City after faculty and reunited in Bushwick, a neighborhood in Brooklyn. Andrew and I’d turn into roommates for just a few years, residing collectively in a crappy two-bedroom house with a 3rd pal sleeping on a fold-out sofa in the lounge.
Even after I moved out, our lives saved intertwining. When I used to be laid off from a job I’d held for 4 years, Andrew instantly really useful me for a task at a 3D-printing startup he labored for as a neighborhood supervisor. We quickly turned co-workers who acquired to proceed our artistic alliance professionally.
I don’t wanna work at extra shitty startups.
We each had reached a turning level in our careers, and that shared trajectory introduced us nearer collectively. Prior to my 3D-printing job, I had spent six years working in web site high quality assurance. Like my lancing days in Limgrave, I used to be honing a craft I had no real interest in utilizing long-term. I knew Andrew was in an identical boat, however he wouldn’t absolutely come to phrases with that himself till after he was unceremoniously laid off on a Wednesday morning alongside 15% of the corporate’s workers.
Over the subsequent few years, I watched Andrew look at how he needed all of his varied abilities to finally come to a head. He was an artist with a background in sculpting and an skilled at neighborhood constructing, and he had begun exploring his love of video video games even additional. He turned a developer in a single day, making a prototype of a sport referred to as Roll Control, the place gamers might management a ball by utilizing a steadiness board controller. What started as a primitive experiment quickly turned Andrew’s major focus, as he got down to craft a venture that mirrored his unrestricted creativeness.
The gaming business turned out to be fertile floor for Andrew’s mix-and-match basket of abilities and passions. In considered one of his classically shocking strikes, he invited me out of the blue to a Discord server he co-founded to function a gathering level for the New York City indie sport design scene. I initially assumed it was one thing that he’d overlook about in every week, till it blossomed right into a thriving neighborhood with near 1,000 members — builders, artists, audio engineers, and even simply Andrew’s buddies who simply needed to see what he was as much as.
Andrew was notorious for beginning tasks after which dropping them proper earlier than they reached their remaining type. I keep in mind him spending months prototyping and playtesting an authentic board sport referred to as Terradice, just for him to hurry on to his subsequent concept as soon as it lastly felt like he’d cracked the way to make it work. It was all the time one thing about him that puzzled me; I might by no means grasp why he’d put such an incredible quantity of effort and time into an concept solely to let it fizzle out.
His Discord server was proof that he was beginning to change, whether or not deliberately or not. After many years of curious experimenting, Andrew’s varied talents all felt like they had been heading towards an endgame; I might see him zeroing in on his remaining construct. His affect on the native gaming scene was rising, and he was flexing extra abilities as a developer along with his second sport, Shillelagh. After quitting a high-paying job that he felt unhappy with, he didn’t precisely know what his subsequent steps can be — however he instructed me that he’d at the least locked in a single key determination.
“I don’t wanna work at more shitty startups,” he wrote in what can be his remaining phrases to me.
Crumbling Farum Azula
The overview interval for Elden Ring was as unforgiving as the sport itself. Critics had simply over every week to pore by way of a 100-hour sport with a huge world to discover. While rushed timelines like which can be all too frequent for sport writers, this window was particularly egregious. Anybody who needed to get a overview posted in time for the sport’s embargo, after we had been free to share our impressions, would want to spend most of their waking hours on it. That was made worse by the truth that Elden Ring is an extremely difficult sport that’ll typically maintain you up for hours and go away you no alternative however to knock your head in opposition to the brick wall till both you, or it, cracks.
My breaking level got here amid the sport’s remaining stretch. As the story locks into its endgame, gamers are transported to Crumbling Farum Azula, a small island hidden off to the east of the sport’s central continent. The open world begins to shut in, forcing gamers to comply with a largely set path by way of the island and battle just a few bosses. You know your lengthy journey is coming to an finish.
And it completely sucks.
Crumbling Farum Azula accommodates Elden Ring’s worst boss encounter: the Godskin Duo. Remember the fleshy nobleman that gave me bother earlier? He returns as a compulsory battle, however he’s not alone. He’s joined by the Godskin Apostle, who is actually the Luigi to his Mario. The battle requires you to take down each directly, but when that weren’t sufficient, additionally they regenerate after you kill them, forcing you to take them down a number of occasions throughout the battle.
It’s a maddening encounter that feels just like the builders swiftly tried to slap collectively a sufficiently exhausting late-game battle. While I used to be in a position to beat them after hours of wrestle, I left feeling notably much less glad than I did after beating the Godskin Noble. After rising above all of the adversity the marketing campaign threw at me, it felt like I’d been hit with an unfair sucker punch. And what made that sting extra is that I now not had the selection to duck it by adventuring off into the world; this was the top.
It’s this part of the sport that prompted Andrew to DM me about his personal frustrations about his playthrough, which he’d been gushing over as much as that time. “Yeah the last arc of the game feels flat,” he wrote. “Nothing new is introduced.”
It’s a critique that made good sense coming from somebody like Andrew, whose whole ethos revolved round attempting new issues. Elden Ring’s remaining act is its most static, as gamers are sucked out of the open world and compelled to sink or swim in the event that they wish to wrap up the story. All that limitless potential is taken away. It’s as for those who’re all of a sudden again in that drab crypt within the opening — the one designed to emphasise how rather more interesting the open world past its doorways is.
For Andrew, it was a rug pull on the finish of an exquisite expertise. Crumbling Farum Azula is a merciless, irritating, and deeply unsatisfying finish to a sport that felt prefer it was constructing to one thing particular. “I think the game gives you too much freedom in the beginning … and it can’t deliver that rush again,” he wrote.
Clinton Hill
On June 1, 2022, my cellphone lit up with a notification. It was a message from a Facebook Messenger chat made up of our highschool pal group. One of our buddies had summoned everybody along with a dreaded @everybody tag. There was a pause after which a blunt follow-up. “Andrew was involved in an accident. He didn’t make it.”
You could wish to skip the subsequent paragraph for those who don’t need the total particulars of the tragedy.
Sometime within the afternoon, Andrew was driving a Vespa scooter by way of Brooklyn’s Clinton Hill neighborhood. He was sporting a vivid orange security vest and abiding by the foundations of the highway when he stopped at a purple mild. As he waited, he was all of a sudden rear-ended by an SUV and thrown off his bike onto a sidewalk. The driver, who was beneath the affect of medicine on the time and working a car with out a license, reportedly tried to hurry off after the incident, pinning Andrew beneath the car and dragging him a number of toes. He was taken to the native Methodist hospital, the place he was pronounced useless.
Every piece of his previous was coming collectively into what felt like his better function.
After spending six months gathering the braveness to put in writing this, I nonetheless wasn’t ready for a way deeply unsatisfying it could really feel to map out the top of Andrew’s story on paper. I had seen him develop and develop over the course of practically three many years. By 2022, each piece of his previous was coming collectively into what felt like his better function. His childhood overview of Ocarina of Time, his sculpture research in faculty, his neighborhood administration job, his work on Roll Control — every felt like one other brush stroke on the way in which to Andrew’s remaining masterpiece.
Instead, I returned residence, went to the church that I attended as a child, and sat silently subsequent to his open casket for an all too transient remaining second. Medfield had turn into Crumbling Farum Azula.
The Lands Between
Satisfying endings could be very tough to land, particularly in motion video games, which rely on momentum. The want for fixed escalation, typically over an unlimited span of time, can result in late-game moments that merely fall flat as a substitute of crescendo (see BioShock Infinite’s weird tower protection set piece, for instance).
In dissecting Elden Ring, Andrew recognized a way more elementary flaw inherent to the open-world style. It’s an issue he noticed in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and in traditional Andrew style, his clarification got here full with a high-quality artwork metaphor.
“It’s the abstract expressionism problem of the blank canvas,” he wrote throughout our final dialog. “The first gestures are the biggest and boldest, the rest are filling space.”
Elden Ring’s greatest strokes are its most memorable ones. The second whenever you first set foot into Limgrave. The second whenever you open a chest and are all of a sudden transported to the totally alien Caelid. The second whenever you step on an elevator elevate and uncover a whole underground world. Those jaw-dropping sequences make the early hours of Elden Ring really feel not like anything.
But the extra it covers the canvas in daring splashes of paint, the much less house it has to work with afterward. By the top of the journey, it looks like its creators are going again into a virtually completed masterpiece and filling within the element work. That’s an vital a part of the creative course of, however (as Andrew mentioned), it’s “so much less fun” to expertise up shut.
Ever since I performed Elden Ring in February, I’ve been harboring a quiet resentment for it — one which was all of a sudden compounded by the dying of a cherished one months after its launch. When I believe again to my time with it, I’m all of a sudden stricken with grief. Why did this eternal expertise must culminate in such a merciless, anticlimactic finale? What was the purpose of spending a lot time on this world hoping for a payoff to the wrestle, one that may by no means come? I cherished a lot about my journey by way of The Lands Between, however I used to be left attempting to see that when golden Erdtree by way of the smoke that may ultimately engulf it.
Andrew was all the time extra level-headed than me and had a humorous manner of boiling down what can be an existential disaster for some to a easy apart. “I’m OK giving up 100 hours into a game,” he wrote. “It’s long enough.”
Those 12 phrases struck me as throwaway snark on the time, however I now understand they’re the important thing to unlocking his whole worldview. Andrew stuffed his life with these daring gestures that he cherished, the sort that solely come whenever you’re portray within the second somewhat than worrying about how every coloration will combine collectively later. He didn’t must comply with by way of on every mark to seek out worth in them. I couldn’t grasp that philosophy whereas he was alive. Perhaps that’s how I ended up strolling across the Temple of Eigley with a +14 newbie’s lance.
The wrestle I’ve with Elden Ring and my relationship with Andrew is considered one of closure. I maintain seeking to each and clawing for some form of finality that can put a neat interval on tales that really feel hauntingly unresolved. Now, trying again by way of our remaining dialog, I’m realizing that Andrew gave me that reply one week earlier than he handed away. I maintain looking for which means in hours that don’t exist somewhat than discovering peace within the 100 that do. Every reminiscence of Andrew looks like lifting that steel door and crossing the edge into Limgrave for the primary time. The surprise, the enjoyment, the love — all of it floods into body like these swaths of inexperienced and gold. Though I do know the place the journey ends, I’ll all the time discover my pal in The Lands Between.
“Arise now, ye Tarnished. Ye dead, who yet live.”
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